Reflections on 2020: The Year We...
We have reached the end of 2020. Wow.
We persevered. We panicked. We laughed. We cried. We relaxed. We achieved. We walked. We talked. We zoomed. We worked. We slept. We sat. We watched. We ate. We cooked. We baked. We masked up. We made it happen. We made it through the year. Now take a deep breath, and exhale.
Through no minor feat, we have made it to the end of this (enter your favorite adjective) year and I couldn’t be more grateful for 2021. Not just because I’m a fan of confetti and watching the ball drop, but because a fresh year means a fresh start.
2020 was one beast of a year. I’m not even talking about the pandemic (it’s not over) and all of the everything that was uprooted (and continues to be) because of it. I’m talking pre-pandemic. Or as I’d like to call it, before March.
January was a month like any other and I distinctly remember finishing the month happily and acknowledging that my running routine was getting back into a good groove. I don’t remember much else from that month, but I do know that I was feeling proud and optimistic (my usual preference for life).
In the beginning of February my father had a stroke. He had one back in 2007 but had made incredible progress and recovered considerably over the last thirteen years. However, he had another one. My feelings of panic, frustration, fear, and sadness from the first time came rushing back like a tidal wave. I have learned to live with a version of these feelings to this day.
This second stroke was very different and due to the prior brain injury, doctors could not tell us how it would turn out or how he would do long term. He was in the hospital and then rehab from February until the end of May.
During his time in the rehab, visitors were not allowed due to COVID and we basically spent our days trying to connect via FaceTime (some days more successful than others) and hoping he would smile at us through the phone. I will forever remember this section of time being the toughest of 2020 for me and my family. COVID was everywhere (it still is) and all I wanted to do was visit my dad and help him recover.
I’ll fast forward to now since my anxiety lowered (slightly) once he moved home right after Memorial Day. My dad is now living at home, eating great meals cooked by my mom (my other hero) and continues to improve.
While he requires 24-hour care, and cannot yet stand or walk, I am confident in his strength and determination to do so in the future. He smiles at me, loves fresh-baked cookies, and is even learning to laugh again.
I am so grateful for the progress he continues to make, the caretakers who help him every hour of the day, and his personality which shines through more and more each week. Even when we visit on FaceTime. ;)
For me, this February emergency shaped my 2020 and will continue to do so in the new year (nothing is ‘over’). My father’s two major health events, first in 2007 (I was 21) and second in 2020 (I’m 35), have significantly impacted my adult life so far. However, I continue to be determined to be positive, live a joyful life, and be so freaking proud of my dad (and my mom) who is a warrior unlike any other. I just wish I could hug them. But for now I will wear my mask, use FaceTime daily, and be so grateful for their strength during this extraordinarily difficult year. For the record, my sister is a rockstar as well.
I know it’s been a rough one for many of us. But I am a generally optimistic person. Despite the toughest situations, I tend to lean toward the glass-half-full mindset. I like to spread positivity. I like to spread joy. I like to be a happy person because life can switch on a dime and my goodness why not just celebrate the good stuff every time it happens? For that reason, I want to share a list of the positives that happened to all of us this year. Focusing on just the bad won’t help anyone, but focusing on the good can help everyone.
I requested your positive experiences on Instagram and I was so, so thrilled to read every reply that was sent my way. I’m going to share the responses, anonymously, below. My usual format for reviewing the year just doesn’t fit for 2020. It was a year unlike any other, but we made it. And we did it together (while apart). I’m so proud of us.
2020 was the year…
“I graduated from grad school!”
“I got to be home most nights and weekends!”
“We launched astronauts from US soil to the ISS, twice!”
“I got pregnant!”
“I got three raises!”
“I started my own food page!”
“I’m pregnant with my third!”
“Staying in touch with friends near and far even without the prospect of seeing each other!”
“I had a baby!”
“I’ve met some pretty amazing people who support me in becoming a better person.”
“I got married and found out I was pregnant! 2020 wasn’t that bad!”
“I passed a certification exam for work and got engaged!”
Wow! That’s a lot of joy! I’m so happy for all of you and I know for a fact that there is even more goodness out there.
For me, I think the joy started to fill in during the second half of the year. Seth and I got used to having picnics in the car, having snacks by the ocean away from everyone, cooking more than we ever have before, I found my passion again for baking, I got into a workout routine in my living room that I could both maintain and enjoy, and I found a lot of joy in the “drop and go” style of visiting that has become the current norm.
I’ve been baking cookies for family, dropping the sweets at their doorstep, and waving from the car. Sure, it’s not what we used to do, but it definitely makes people happy!
I have noticed that this year has become all about the small moments, the generous gestures, and the random phone calls. It can really brighten someone’s day to give them a quick call, a fun text, or even send them a card in the mail. I have never been so happy to receive holiday cards as I was this year.
2020 was a year we will never forget. It was hard. It was exhausting. It was painful at times. But we made it through. The new year isn’t going to make everything magically return to normal. In fact, I don’t anticipate “normal,” for quite some time. However, I am going to ring in 2021 with a lot of hope. I am hopeful for the eventual return to a new normal, the continued progress of my dad’s incredible recovery, and for us all to acknowledge that we’re in this together.
For all of the rough stuff that happened this year, I am grateful for how I am feeling now which is joyful and excited. Seth and I are moving into our first home in just a few short weeks. I truly cannot wait. 2021 is going to be great.
Thank you for reading and being a part of this community. I am so grateful for your support and appreciate every single one of you. Wishing you a happy, healthy New Year filled with positive vibes, stylish masks, the comfiest pants, and a lot of delicious food.
Cheers!
